It’s been so hot today. I went for a walk this morning at Salhouse Broad. It’s the first time I’ve been there. It was so pretty. I’ll definitely go there again.

First tomatoes of this year.

I feel like I’ve planted lots of metaphorical seeds this year as well. Fingers crossed they will grow as well.

I’m having a learning day today! Been watching webinars, FB lives and videos. My brain is now officially mush! But I’ve learnt a lot today. In fact it made me think back on all the learning lockdown has given me the chance to do.

What have you had lockdown given you the chance to do?

This popped up on my timeline today and it really resonated with me.

I’ve been focusing on all the things I need to work on, sort out or improve recently. I’ve been looking at the things that aren’t going my way. Rather than looking at what I do have.

Yes there are some big things going on in my life. But they’ve started to leak into every area.

So I did a bit of NLP reframing today.

I went for a lovely walk in the woods this morning. I did some lorry training with Buddy this afternoon. And now I’m watching Brighton.

Also got some good news. Mum is doing really well recovering from Covid and pneumonia. They’re so going to move her back to Crawley hospital for rehab. So that’s a relief.

After crying myself out yesterday I woke up feeling exhausted. But I had a really good day. I took a step back on a lot of things and focused on one thing at a time.

I’ve been a bit of a butterfly recently – flitting from thing to thing, trying to do everything and usually ending up doing nothing. Today I was more caterpillar than butterfly.

My sweet peas have exploded overnight. They always make me smile.

I think the events of the past few weeks (months) have finally caught up with me. I’m crying again. Honestly I haven’t cried as much as I have this year. It’s like my body has stored all the tears up for now.

This year has been challenging to say the least. It’s been one thing after another. Hit after hit. And it’s not just lots of little things, it’s big life changing things too.

Covid wasn’t in my Top 5 bad things for 2020. It is now. I’ve never been worried about the virus. I’ve always been worried about the consequences of it. My Mum now having it feels like a weird irony.

Thankfully she’s responding well to treatment. But it’s another thing to deal with. She’s been through so much already. She’s been in and out of hospital since 19 July last year.

It’s hard knowing I can’t see her or my Dad because of Covid.

Today I just feel like every aspect of my life is a little off. Every area needs some attention, effort or TLC. But I can’t do that if I feel like I have no energy to give.

So today I stop. Today I focus on me. Today I sit on the sofa, watch Disney films, have kitten cuddles and cry as much as I need. Today I give myself some TLC.

This is a massive positive for me as it wasn’t that long ago that I would have beaten myself up and made myself keep going.

Today I stop. Tomorrow I get going again. It will be better I’m sure.

I am many things. I love this as there are so many facets to my life. Being an equestrian is just one. But it’s a big part of who I am.

Took Buddy over to a new venue today for a jumping lesson. First time he’d been there. We were jumping on grass too. The lesson was brilliant. Really feel like we’re getting back to where we were or even better.

Sadly Buddy’s weaving in the lorry has gotten worse so he arrived dripping in sweat. Not the best start. But he was fine after a quick shower.

Looks like it’s something for me to work on with him. And go back a few steps with him. It would be boring if there wasn’t something to work on, right?!

So it’s been another pretty odd week with ups and downs, twists and turns. Getting this today in the post was just what I needed. Literally! My friend sent him for my birthday but he arrived today. When I needed a hug more than anything else.

I’ve been hugging him within an inch of his life. Is it possible to hug a stuffed toy to death?!

What a beautiful sight this evening. The rose I got for my birthday has bloomed. It’s luminescent! The photo doesn’t really do it justice.

It’s called Inspiration. Well I’m an English Rose and an inspiration to many so I was told. Made me cry at the time.

I was saddened to hear of Dame Vera Lynn’s passing today. 103 is an incredible innings! She was a truly inspirational woman. I was lucky enough to meet her several times as she lived not far from where I grew up. I used to see her in the local garden centre and we had a few chats about plants. She was a really lovely lady.