I’ve been busily working my way through my life coaching course. I’m really enjoying it – even if it does make my head hurt sometimes and is a little bit squirmy when things really resonate. Today’s session made me do a bit of self-reflection.

I realised that I’ve been feeling quite sorry for myself. What with my ankle, my Mum and the job. Don’t get me wrong, I think that’s more than enough for me to feel sorry for myself. With the ankle specifically, I’ve been labelling myself as ‘a bit broken’ and as ‘a patient’. These may be just labels, but I can now see they can be quite damaging to ones self-worth. I’m so much more than one body part!

I’m making good progress with my ‘boot’ even if it’s still really uncomfortable. So today I had a tidy up and removed the extra pillow I’d been using to prop myself up and started to put my house back together. It was beginning to look a little bit like a sanatorium with all the equipment, pillows and blankets.

Tomorrow I’m going to call and ask for all the equipment to be collected. I’m so much stronger now, I don’t need it anymore. I’ll keep my crutches for now, just in case.

I’ve started the job hunting process as well. I’ve updated my CV and sent it over to a friend to review. I’ve set up a new email address that looks more professional than the one I’ve had for years. I’ve sent some requests off to some recruitment agencies and I have a meeting with the outplacement consultant next week.

I realised I can’t change my current situation, so I’m changing my view of it. It feels good to be reclaiming me again. Tiny step at a tiny step…

Well my time with Virgin Money is drawing to an end. I paid my last visit to Disco House to clear my desk and hand my IT equipment back. It felt very odd being back in the building after nearly 5 months off.

My poor foot is a bit swollen and throbbing now, but it’s the longest I’ve been on it since it came out of the cast.

Feeling a bit emotional about leaving. That just means it means something. I’ve had the most incredible 6.5 years working there and worked with some incredible people – some of who I know consider family. It’s not the same as it was, so I’m really glad I got to experience the good times.

It’s now time to close the chapter and move on to my next adventure – whatever that looks like!

Today is Random Act of Kindness Day. I’ve been lucky to experience many acts of kindness since I had my accident. And in my life. So what is the kindest thing someone has done for you? Let’s share some good stuff today!

The death of Caroline Flack has saddened me so much. It takes me back to the feelings I had when my brother died. It’s natural I guess. I have first-hand experience of the fallout of it. Suicide is something that polarises people. It’s something that is still hard to discuss, to fathom, to accept.

The hardest part is that one conversation or one action could change the outcome. For a long time I wondered if I could have done anything to stop my brother. But I accepted it was his choice.

So instead I’ve always tried to be a good person. To be compassionate. Not to judge others, but to try understand. But there are somethings we will never understand.

I do my best to live my life by a saying that was instilled in me years ago. It’s a simple one too ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything’. Unfortunately we live in a world where some people feel they have a right to say whatever they like. But there are consequences for our words – especially online. I hope Caroline’s death will encourage more people to think before they speak or type. We all have our opinions, some of us choose to keep it to ourselves. #bekind

I’m saddened over the news of Caroline Flack’s death. I never met her, but I loved watching her on Strictly. She seemed very down to earth and normal for a celebrity. Sadly I can relate to her death in a very personal way.

You see my brother committed suicide in 2004. It took me a long time to accept that it was his choice. It’s not a choice I could ever make, and believe me it’s crossed my mind when things have been really tough. But I couldn’t put anyone through it. Sure life can be tough, I’ve always felt that I am tougher. Of course I’ve wanted to run away from the things I was facing, but my determination made me stay and keep fighting.

It’s sad to think that anyone would think this was the only option. I’m not judging, I’m trying to understand. Suicide is responsible for the deaths of more people each year than cancer. It’s not glamorous, it destroys the lives of those of us who have to live with the consequences. When a person dies, there’s a reason. They were ill, it was an accident etc. With suicide there is a reason, but one you can never fully know or understand.

You never know what’s going on in someone else’s head, or the battles they’re fighting. So let’s try to lose the judgement and be kind. Because one day it could be someone you know. And I wouldn’t want anyone to go through it. If you’re struggling, speak to someone or call the Samaritans. You are never alone.

Rest in peace Caroline.

As with all things in life, there are a few back stories to my injury. This is my Mum. She’s now 76 and last year was a bad one for her health-wise. In July she was admitted to hospital with pneumonia. For the next 5 months, she bounced between rehabilitation centres and hospitals suffering infection after infection. Finally she came home in December and had seem to be doing OK.

Sadly last Sunday, she was admitted back to hospital having suffered a stroke. She also had a chest infection. It’s a worrying time for my Dad and my family as we don’t know how much the stroke has affected her. I spoke to her yesterday and she was very confused and slurring her speech. It broke my heart to hear her like that.

The older I get, the more I realise that there are two defining moments in your life. The first when you realise your parents are fallible and the second when you realise your parents are mortal. I’m now realising that my parents won’t be around forever…

I’m very lucky to be a sponsored rider for Norfolk Equine Sports Massage. Buddy loves his massages, even if he is quite expressive when you get a sore or ticklish spot. There’s no doubt as he snaps his teeth! 😳

It was great to hear that his back has come up since he started having massages in October last year. His gluts are firming up too. All good signs that he’s working more correctly.

I know the benefits that I get from a sports massage and it seems Buddy is benefitting from his too!

I couldn’t get to the yard today to see my little Valentine boy. Luckily one of my friends was there and sent me this photo of him. How could you not love his little face! 😍 I know I’m very biased….

Great start to the day. A full body massage in my conservatory. Well almost full, we decided to leave my bad foot for now. Feeling super floppy now.

So after 6 weeks, I finally got to put my jeans back on. 😂 I couldn’t get them on over my cast. It’s an interesting look. I also got to try on the 7 pairs of jodhpurs that I bought in the sales. I decided it was finally time to replace some of my pairs that have seen better days. I’ve got lots where the knees, seat or stitching have gone. And a few pairs that are too big for me. So I shall be having a cull! Nothing like a spot of Spring cleaning to lift the spirits.