Bit of a weird day for me. 10 years ago my then husband came home and said he didn’t want to be married anymore. Another life-changing event in my life.

I’m sad that it didn’t work. I honestly thought after everything that happened after my brother’s death, we would get through anything. But it wasn’t to be. I’ve accepted my part in it’s failure and I’m working on forgiving myself.

I chose to fight for me rather than my marriage. I chose to put my energy into creating a life that worked for me. Rightly or wrongly. I’m very proud of how I have handled the trials and tribulations of the past 10 years alone. And let’s face it there have been some doozies!

I’m disappointed that I haven’t met someone else. I know I needed this time to heal, rebuild and grow. To work on me. To work out what I need in my life. And what brings me joy.

Today, I sat on my conservatory steps and reflected on how far I’ve come in the past decade. I sure didn’t think I’d still be single. Again, that’s how the cards have fallen.

I’m sure I will meet another man one day. This time I won’t need rescuing though. Till then, I have a ‘stable’ relationship. Yes, I’m talking about Buddy.

And I’m know I have the love and support of so many people. I’m grateful for those who let me cry on their shoulders, vent my frustrations or help me with the mundane two-person tasks. Being single has it’s benefits. But my god there are times when I definitely need an extra pair of hands, a hug or someone to carry a tiny bit of the responsibilities I have on my small shoulders…


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