Oxygen

It’s been a tough couple of weeks for me for many reasons. I found out that my lovely next door neighbour died. He was 98 so had a really good innings. Still made me sad as he was always so cheery. And he didn’t get to see his new roof.

I’ve been spinning lots of plates and some are really wobbling at the moment. Yesterday took its toll too. I missed my Mum’s 80th birthday lunch today. I looked at so many different ways to get there. But it wasn’t to be.

Sometimes you have to admit defeat. I was reminded today that you need to put your oxygen mask on first. So today I rested and took Buddy out for a really long hack. That’s the best way I know to recharge my batteries.

I will be OK. But right now, I’m struggling with a few issues. I will get them sorted. I always do. Thankful to have some wonderful people in my corner.

Church Tower

Today I got to do something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I got to go inside a church I’ve ridden past for the past 12 years. And climb up to the top of the tower as well.

The latter was up two rather wobbly ladders. I had a wobble on the first one as it was making a very weird noise. But after a few deep breaths and a brain reset, I carried on. So glad I did. The views were stunning!!

I had no idea how pretty the church was inside too. I do love a church. They’re such soothing places.

Faith

This came up on my memories today. Not sure what was going on when I posted this 7 years ago. But it’s just as true today.

So much is out of our control. Having faith (whatever that looks like to you) can be really hard. Especially when things are wobbling. I’m spinning a lot of plates, it’s inevitable that some will wobble from time to time.

Let’s face it, sometimes you just need to put the world to right with some good friends, not take yourself too seriously and do the things you love.

Walking blindly

Today has been a very weird day. Nothing’s happened. It’s just felt weird. Like I’ve drifted onto the rumble strip. Went for a walk to clear my head.

It was cold, so I put my hood up. Then realised I can’t actually see where I was going. I was literally walking blind.

It’s quite a good metaphor for how the world feels to me right now. The past 2 years have been a bit challenging for me and everyone in their own way. Yesterday’s announcement seems to have stirred things up again.

I feel like I’m walking blindly through life. I’ve followed the rules, I’ve done my best but quite frankly I am sick of it all now. The thought of more restrictions and talk of yet another lockdown have made me wobble a bit. The non-Covid toll is just too great.

I’ve spent the past decade or so learning how to understand my mindset and how essential it is for success. I know I’m having an emotional reaction and that all I can control is my reaction. So I’m learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s hard.

I want to enjoy my life, doing the things I love, with the people I love. It’s hard to think things could be put on hold. Again.

I will be OK. I am OK. I’ve been through so much already, I know the drill. But right now, I want to stop the world and get off for a bit. I want all the silliness to stop. I want to live my life to the fullest. Not this half-hearted effort.

But my mindset is strong , I am still positive and I will make the best of whatever is thrown at me next. We’ve got this…