Walking blindly

Today has been a very weird day. Nothing’s happened. It’s just felt weird. Like I’ve drifted onto the rumble strip. Went for a walk to clear my head.

It was cold, so I put my hood up. Then realised I can’t actually see where I was going. I was literally walking blind.

It’s quite a good metaphor for how the world feels to me right now. The past 2 years have been a bit challenging for me and everyone in their own way. Yesterday’s announcement seems to have stirred things up again.

I feel like I’m walking blindly through life. I’ve followed the rules, I’ve done my best but quite frankly I am sick of it all now. The thought of more restrictions and talk of yet another lockdown have made me wobble a bit. The non-Covid toll is just too great.

I’ve spent the past decade or so learning how to understand my mindset and how essential it is for success. I know I’m having an emotional reaction and that all I can control is my reaction. So I’m learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s hard.

I want to enjoy my life, doing the things I love, with the people I love. It’s hard to think things could be put on hold. Again.

I will be OK. I am OK. I’ve been through so much already, I know the drill. But right now, I want to stop the world and get off for a bit. I want all the silliness to stop. I want to live my life to the fullest. Not this half-hearted effort.

But my mindset is strong , I am still positive and I will make the best of whatever is thrown at me next. We’ve got this…

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