5 years

Today marks 5 years since we entered lockdown. And our lives changed forever. In so many ways, it’s hard to believe it actually happened. It’s like a hazy nightmare or dream. One where you’re not sure if it did or didn’t happen.

I’m still angry, sad, bewildered, grateful and a thousand other emotions. I know others are too. A collective sense of grief for what was, what might have been and what we lost.

Have we’ve truly acknowledged the impacts of Covid? Do we actually know? I joked at the time that it was like we were in a social experiment. Given the current state of the world, I’m starting to wonder if it was.

I read a post today that really made me think. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have wanted to be making the decisions. Looking back, I’m not sure what it actually achieved. We seem to be in a worse state now than before.

I guess time will tell. History is usually written by the victors. Wonder how it will be reflected in all the chaos, scaremongering and lies…

8 years

8 years ago, I made one of the best decisions ever. I bought Buddy.

What better way to celebrate our anniversary than going to a jumping clinic! I can’t quite get my head around the fact it’s been 8 years since I bought this handsome boy. This year has probably been our toughest together with his injury and the challenges I’ve faced. But one thing is for sure, he melts my heart.

Looking back at the past 8 years, we have had so many highs. We’ve made so many memories together. We’ve achieved things I couldn’t have even dreamed. There are a lot of people in the Buddy Fan Club.

Today we had a lot of fun together. Especially after I remembered how to actually ride! Funny how muscle memory kicks in when you let it.

He is and will always be ‘My Absolute Diamond’. And I couldn’t love him more if I tried.

11 years

11 years ago I moved into my little house. I can’t quite believe it’s been that long.

I still remember the stress of moving. The endless boxes to pack and unpack (still not unpacked them all). The fear of living on my own after so many years. The excitement of all the plans I had (still haven’t finished them). The chaos of building works. The financial worries. The joys. The highs. The lows. The losses. The new additions.

I love my little house. I’ve made so many memories here. I smile every time I drive round the close and see my home. It was meant to be, that’s for sure. It’s not perfect. It needs some TLC. But it’s perfect for me. And that’s what matters…

D-Day

Today is the 80th anniversary of the D-Day landings. In 2012, I got the chance to visit Normandy Beach and see the landing sites for myself.

The craters are still there. The reminders everywhere. The landscape permanently scarred. As were those ‘lucky’ enough to come home. The horrors they experience we fear to imagine. Sacrifices made we barely comprehend.

This was no Hollywood action movie. War knows no compassion. Violence is indiscriminate. The First World War was meant to be the ‘war that ended all wars’. We’re not doing so well there, are we? Sadly wars still rage around the world.

One day, I pray we learn the lesson.

Sitting in quiet contemplation at the graveyard, I’ve never felt so humble or close to those who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom.

We will never forget.

Kittyversary

4 years go today these two adorable fluff balls arrived Chez Langley. I remembered how small the carrier was that they came in. I’d forgotten how small kittens are. These two were tiny!

They’ve grown into very handsome little boys indeed. Even if for the first few weeks I thought one was a girl. Soon became very obvious that she was a he.

They make me giggle with their antics. Shortly after taking this picture, Hugo pounced on Dodo. They then chased each other round the garden.

And yes, they will probably always be called the kittens.

4 years

4 years ago I started this blog. So Happy Anniversary me!

I started it to chart my recovery from a broken talus. Little did I know it would cover Covid, highs, lows, tears, laugh, triumphs and disasters.

It might not have been the success that I’d hoped. But I’m not sure I started it for that. I started it for me. If others get something from it, that’s a bonus.

So if you’ve read any of my posts, thank you.

Reflections

Bit of a weird day for me. 10 years ago my then husband came home and said he didn’t want to be married anymore. Another life-changing event in my life.

I’m sad that it didn’t work. I honestly thought after everything that happened after my brother’s death, we would get through anything. But it wasn’t to be. I’ve accepted my part in it’s failure and I’m working on forgiving myself.

I chose to fight for me rather than my marriage. I chose to put my energy into creating a life that worked for me. Rightly or wrongly. I’m very proud of how I have handled the trials and tribulations of the past 10 years alone. And let’s face it there have been some doozies!

I’m disappointed that I haven’t met someone else. I know I needed this time to heal, rebuild and grow. To work on me. To work out what I need in my life. And what brings me joy.

Today, I sat on my conservatory steps and reflected on how far I’ve come in the past decade. I sure didn’t think I’d still be single. Again, that’s how the cards have fallen.

I’m sure I will meet another man one day. This time I won’t need rescuing though. Till then, I have a ‘stable’ relationship. Yes, I’m talking about Buddy.

And I’m know I have the love and support of so many people. I’m grateful for those who let me cry on their shoulders, vent my frustrations or help me with the mundane two-person tasks. Being single has it’s benefits. But my god there are times when I definitely need an extra pair of hands, a hug or someone to carry a tiny bit of the responsibilities I have on my small shoulders…

3 years!

Well well I started this blog 3 years ago! It may not had be been the success that I’d hoped for. But I’ve enjoyed it nonetheless. I keep blogging even if no-one reads it.

I started it as a way to chart my progress after breaking my talus. But it’s become a bit of a diary now. I enjoy looking back at the momories and seeing how things have gone.

Thank you to everyone who’s been along for the journey.

Two years on

Today is the second anniversary of the first lockdown. How optimistic and naive were we to think it would just be 3 weeks?! I’m not sure many would have dreamt we’d still be talking about Covid!

It’s been an incredibly individual journey for everyone. It’s certainly been a challenge. Sometimes it’s hard to remember exactly how tough it’s been. I have had very dark moments. I’ve felt scared. I’ve been totally lost.

The last two years have been an opportunity to redefine myself. I’ve definitely learnt a lot about myself.

I’ve also had great moments. I’ve met new people. I’ve started my business. And achieved so much.

Anniversary

Wow! I’ve just realised that I’ve been writing this blog for 2 years!

I started it as a safe space for me to talk about how I was feeling, to chart my recovery from a badly broken ankle and generally share my musings.

Has it been the roaring success I’d hoped for? No. Have I enjoyed writing it? Yes. Will I continued? Why not!

Thanks to everyone who’s commented, liked or shared it.

Here’s to the next year!