This came up on my memories today. It reminds me that I’ve been though tough times before and survived.

I’m not going to lie, this week has been another tough one. I’m struggling with the lockdown, the isolation, the lack of human contact, losing Tom and a hundred other things right now. But I will be OK. I have to believe that. I’m not sure anyone is having a brilliant time right now, so let’s try and be kind to each other. Compassion, love and understand will help make this so much easier.

My Dad sent me this to give me a much needed giggle today. I’m pretty sure there will be a few of you who can relate to this after 2 weeks of lockdown. Enjoy!

I had these beautiful roses delivered today from my parents. They wanted to give me a massive hug to say how sorry they were I’d lost Tom. But given that they’re:

a) 3 hours away

b) in 12 weeks isolation and

c) no-one’s allowed to hug these days, these were the closest they could get. They made me cry. Again. More happy tears this time.

After a busy day in the garden. And lots more crying. It’s a chicken chow mien and Disney kind of evening. All together….. Let it go! 🎶🎶

My lunch date. He hasn’t let me out of his sight all day. 😿

I’ve cried more this year than I have in any other. I’m pretty sure about that. I’m not a cryer. I’m not very good at it. I’d love to be one of those movie cryers with a tear rolling down my cheek. But no, I am a very messy cryer. You know the type – all snot, weird breathing and red puffy face. Maybe that’s why I don’t cry very often. It’s exhausting. Today I’m crying again. The house feels out of kilter with only one cat. Neither Nero or I can settle. We’re both wandering about a bit lost. I look a right sight (again the joy of lockdown is no-one can see me).

I’m crying for what’s happened this year. I’m crying for what could have been. I’m crying cause I feel like I’ve had my fair share so far.

I did do something productive though. My first Zoom Pilates session. As it’s such a glorious day, I took my mat out into the patio. This was the view as I lay on my back. #norfolkskies

When I started this blog, I said there would be highs and lows. I guess I didn’t appreciate just how many there would be. Today saw another low when I had to say goodbye to my little cat Tom. He had a large tumour on his liver and went downhill really quickly. I knew as I drove to the vets that I wouldn’t come home with him. You just get that sixth sense with animals. But it’s heartbreaking none the less.

And all done with social distancing. The vet and nurse on the other side of the room. Me in tears, desperately wanting a hug. It’s the right thing, but felt every harder somehow.

For nearly 12 years Tom has been my shadow, so much so I’d tripped over him too many times to mention. I couldn’t bring a box or bag into the house without him wanting to get in it. I still have his brother Nero, but for a little cat, he’s left a huge hole.

2020 really is the year that keeps giving…

Today I scarified my lawn. That’s a new one on me! I say lawn, it’s more moss than lawn right now. This was after one going over with a rake. Anyone got an electric scarifier?! This could take some time otherwise. Oh wait, I’ve got plenty of that….

Things I’ve learnt during the lockdown no. 37 – my car is actually silver. Who knew?! I’m rapidly running out of things to clean. 🤦🏻‍♀️

It’s a little chilly, but it felt like a cider in the garden type of evening. I’ve ordered a fire basket so that I can keep the chill off. Not a clue when it will be delivered though… It’ll be worth the wait though. After a day of potting and planting, this is much needed. But my little garden is starting to look good again.