So today was a rollercoaster of a day. I slept really heavily last night, first time since the lockdown that I didn’t wake up during the night. Nero woke me up wailing outside my door. He sounded so distressed I got up to check and the little monkey ran in and jumped on the bed! He never comes in my bedroom.

My phone has broken so I’ve been lent one till I can get it fixed (which could be a while by the looks of it). I managed to knock the loaner off the unit and smashed the screen.

Cue meltdown! Every time I think I’m cried out, more tears come. It struck me that I haven’t had any semblance of a routine for 6 months now. I miss the comfort of getting up and going to work. I miss never feeling lonely cause I was too busy. I miss hugs and seeing people. I miss seeing Buddy every day. I miss how my life was.

Finally got over that and was feeling more balanced, then I got told off in ASDA for itching my nose. Honestly you couldn’t make it up. This woman yelled at me not to touch my face. To which my shouted response was ‘But I’ve got an itchy nose!!’ So much for #bekind, it’s #judgeeveryone. Very sad.

Still I did get to video call with my parents. And I made marmalade. I still can’t believe I actually did that!!

Well it kinda resembles marmalade. Not sure if it’ll set or not, but it tastes good. Will try some in my toast tomorrow and report back. Still an achievement for me considering my culinary limitations. I’m kinda proud I even attempted it.

Not wanting to alarm anyone, but I’m making marmalade. Who knows, maybe this will be something I’m actually good at in the kitchen! Place your bets now….

Nero and I are getting used to just being the two of us. He’s still wandering about calling and I’m still tearing up but we’re moving forward.

Made a new friend on my walk today. She’s not much of a conversationalist, but an OK listener.

This came up on my memories today. It reminds me that I’ve been though tough times before and survived.

I’m not going to lie, this week has been another tough one. I’m struggling with the lockdown, the isolation, the lack of human contact, losing Tom and a hundred other things right now. But I will be OK. I have to believe that. I’m not sure anyone is having a brilliant time right now, so let’s try and be kind to each other. Compassion, love and understand will help make this so much easier.

My Dad sent me this to give me a much needed giggle today. I’m pretty sure there will be a few of you who can relate to this after 2 weeks of lockdown. Enjoy!

I had these beautiful roses delivered today from my parents. They wanted to give me a massive hug to say how sorry they were I’d lost Tom. But given that they’re:

a) 3 hours away

b) in 12 weeks isolation and

c) no-one’s allowed to hug these days, these were the closest they could get. They made me cry. Again. More happy tears this time.

After a busy day in the garden. And lots more crying. It’s a chicken chow mien and Disney kind of evening. All together….. Let it go! 🎶🎶

My lunch date. He hasn’t let me out of his sight all day. 😿