This is a sad time of the year for me as I remember my brother who died in 2004. We weren’t close but it still makes me sad every year that he’s not here. I can’t believe it’s been 16 years since he chose to end his life. This is one of the last photos that I have of him. It was taken at my wedding 3 months before, the last time that we were together.

I will never understand why he made the choice he did. It’s not one I could make as I have too much I still want to do. This year has been challenging (and continues to be), but I know it will get better. It will pass. I’ve had some really dark days this year. Days when I wasn’t sure how I would get through. But what is it they say? Tough times don’t last, tough people do. So I must be very tough.

Tonight I’ll raise a glass to his memory. Wherever you are, I hope the decks are hot, the drinks are cold and the party is banging.

The last few days have been intense to say the least. I’ll write a blog post later with my experiences of Covid. Hopefully it’ll help others. In the meantime, I’m resting, continuing my isolation and getting my head around the past few days.

Thank you so much for the comments, messages and best wishes. I’m very overwhelmed.

Having spent the night in A&E, I finally made it to the ward this morning. Slept most of the day. When not sleeping, I’ve sneezed. It’s the oddest thing.

My heart is starting to play ball but is still beating to it’s own beat. Really hoping that I can come home tomorrow. I want my own bed. To see the boys. And recover fully.

I’m in a ward with 4 other ladies. I’ve brought the average demographic down by at least 25 years.

The staff at the James Paget are taking good care of me.

So this isn’t where I thought I’d be spending my BH evening?! I’ve been having hearth palpitations for a few days so they wanted to check it out. Hoping it’s just a reaction to being ill.

Sadly I tested positive for Covid so that makes it all the more awkward. I had to be taken by ambulance as I’m isolating. It really is a horrible virus. I’ve been so careful and still I got it.

Please take it seriously my dear friends. I’m feeling dreadful right now.

Still feeling crappy, so I had a duvet day. Lots of sleep, lots of films and lots of paracetamol.

So it seems Santa has been super generous this year. Felt decidedly dodgy last night so got an early night. Woke up with a sore throat, snotty nose and 5 mouth ulcers. Can’t say I’m impressed with that at all.

Called in sick as didn’t want to spread it. Felt so bad not being able to go in.

Spent the day gargling salt, drinking iced water and trying to eat without crying. My god mouth ulcers hurt!! I’ve got them on my tongue too. Like that’s needed at all?!

I know it happens when I get rundown. It’s been full on recently, so guess it was bound to catch up with meat some point. Early night for me. More vitamins. And a few chill days.

I thought I’d try and get a festive picture of the kittens on their first Christmas. This was as close as I could get. Just a kitten in a bowl near a Christmas tree. 😂

Neither were keen on the tinsel. Or posing. One for next year I guess.

I hope you’ve all had a lovely day. I have. Mucked out first thing. Ate too many cheese straws and biscuits. Worn my new Christmas PJs most of the day. Had my non-traditional Christmas lunch. Watched Strongman and Strictly (definitely a tradition). Caught up with my parents, nieces and great-nephew. And now waiting for the finger food to cook.

I got a meal delivery for tomorrow’s dinner when I get back from work too (makes a change from me delivering them). And more chocolates from one of my neighbours to say thank you for getting the horns stopped.

It might now have been the Christmas we planned. But it’s been a good one nonetheless.

Buddy would like to say merry Christmas to everyone! Hope you all have a fab day. He’s looking forward to carrots and parsnips later.

Well that’s my 4am alarms done. Thank god. I have a new found respect for anyone who works shifts!

I was expecting it to be carnage, but it was rather quiet. I ended up prepping shelves for Boxing Day sale items and Easter Eggs! I know.

Finished the day with our now traditional Christmas Eve hack. It’s rarely gone to plan. But today was a new one. Flipping hailstones! Buddy is not a fan. Neither am I as they really hurt.

Now flopped on the sofa watching Elf. That seems rather fitting really. 🎄😍

So Buddy chose today to fully embrace his hippo breeding. The day he was due to be clipped of course. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I swear he knows?! So he didn’t get to have his haircut after all.