Walking blindly

Today has been a very weird day. Nothing’s happened. It’s just felt weird. Like I’ve drifted onto the rumble strip. Went for a walk to clear my head.

It was cold, so I put my hood up. Then realised I can’t actually see where I was going. I was literally walking blind.

It’s quite a good metaphor for how the world feels to me right now. The past 2 years have been a bit challenging for me and everyone in their own way. Yesterday’s announcement seems to have stirred things up again.

I feel like I’m walking blindly through life. I’ve followed the rules, I’ve done my best but quite frankly I am sick of it all now. The thought of more restrictions and talk of yet another lockdown have made me wobble a bit. The non-Covid toll is just too great.

I’ve spent the past decade or so learning how to understand my mindset and how essential it is for success. I know I’m having an emotional reaction and that all I can control is my reaction. So I’m learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s hard.

I want to enjoy my life, doing the things I love, with the people I love. It’s hard to think things could be put on hold. Again.

I will be OK. I am OK. I’ve been through so much already, I know the drill. But right now, I want to stop the world and get off for a bit. I want all the silliness to stop. I want to live my life to the fullest. Not this half-hearted effort.

But my mindset is strong , I am still positive and I will make the best of whatever is thrown at me next. We’ve got this…

Wandering

Today I met up with an ex- work collegue for a rather blustery walk. She took me round Salhouse and I got to see Salhouse Hall. Goodness me, I had no idea it was so big or old. We saw a huge red stag and deers too.

Worth the hike through mud, floods and biting winds. So glad I wrapped up warm. We were walking for 2 hours. It’s good to walk and talk.

Long wait

The last time this happened was nearly 6 years ago. And we were both riding different horses. It was worth the wait though. Lovely hack out with Colette and Sky today.

It was very, very windy. My new coat passed with flying colours (flying was right at points as everything was flapping in the wind). I was very toasty indeed. Thankfully we missed the rain too.

Indoor hacking

Blimey! What a wet old day. Grateful to be able to do a bit of indoor hacking today. Still got soaked walking to and from the indoor school.

Typically I got home to find my new long riding coat had been delivered. Oh my days, it’s gorgeous. I didn’t want to take it off as I was so toasty. Looking forward to test driving it tomorrow. 👏🏻

Unfortunately I got home to a new water feature and a puddle on the floor. My garage gutter wasn’t draining away so water was pouring into the log store. And my roof has sprung a leak. Good job I have lots of waterproofs as I clambered up the ladder to sort the gutter. It was simple once I saw the issue. Not a clue how it moved but the down pipe was totally covered. Very odd.

Tried to see if I could see what was happening with the roof. Still clueless on that one. But at least I sorted one of them.

Sanctuary

Back from spending time with two of my favourite people, Simon and Harry. Their place is a sanctuary for my soul and lightens my heart.

We talked, we laughed, we walked. I was greeted like a long lost friend by their dogs and horses. They all love Auntie Pip.

Sit tight

I had a brainwave today. My thighs have been getting cold when I’ve been riding. So I was wracking my brains to think how I could keep them a bit warmer without adding too much bulk. I found a lovely long riding coat, but it was on 29 weeks back order. Not sure I’ll need it in Summer!

Then I remembered when I used to ski, I would use thermal tights under my ski trousers.

As I have a drawer of tights that I’m hardly using, I tried putting a pair under my jodhpurs. It worked. And a nice bonus was they kept my feet warm too. Hurrah!!

Weirdness

So it seems that the weather is a weird as the world right now. It’s been sunshine and showers, with a few hailstones thrown in for good measure.

Oh and cold. Did I mention cold?! Spent the day wrapped in a blanket working at my desk. Got my layers wrong when I went to the yard too so started cold, ended cold and took forever to get warm.

Winter is definitely not my favourite season. The sky was very beautiful this afternoon though. There’s still so much green about. Weird.

Seeing clearly

Momentous day today. I finally got to see out of my rear window. The windscreen wiper was smearing a kind of mud rainbow rather than clearing it. So I took advantage of Black Friday to get a replacement blade.

The nice chap said it was very easy to fit. He lied. It took 3 people, a file and some WD-40.

Worth it. And I was able to test it out in the rain tonight. It’s the little things…

Uncertainty

Today I had to write 2022 a lot. I must admit it feels really odd. I’ve had lots of conversations today about 2021. The main theme was making the best of the uncertainty. We humans can be very stoic.

Then I saw this and it summed it up for me. There have been many times this year when I’ve felt like I’m not getting anywhere. Personally, professionally or with Buddy.

But I know I am. I know I’m moving forward. And I’m still smiling.

It’s been a very odd year indeed. And it seems the uncertainty continues….