After 4 days of house arrest, I couldn’t take it any longer. I needed to get out of my house and garden. So I went for a walk and didn’t see a soul! It was very odd. Just a few cars, a couple of tractors and a bus. Everyone waved hello. The community spirit is definitely returning.

I found this rather long snowdrop hidden in the overgrown bush. Even though there was no room or light, it didn’t die. It just grew taller. Made me thing of where we are right now. We need to adapt to our new circumstances and that’ll become our new ‘normal’ whatever that is.

My second happiest place is in my garden. I haven’t been out there much this year so today I spent 5 hours cutting back the overgrown hedges and bushes. Full brown bin stopped play, but I’m pretty impressed with how much tidier it looks.

I’ve thought long and hard about posting this picture. It’s me at my most vulnerable. I’m not posting it for sympathy. I’m posting it for awareness – that’s it’s OK not to be OK. Especially right now. The last 48 hours have been an emotional rollercoaster for me.

Monday I felt useful for the first time this year when I went to work for my chiro. Sadly there were people who didn’t agree with that choice. That and the fact is come into contact with someone who now has CV symptoms. It was suggested that I go on 7 days isolation. Which I am doing. It felt like a bit of a kick in the teeth as I’ve spent most of the year in a form of isolation and have just going going again.

Then the whole country stopped…

Yesterday I woke up and decided to try and focus on what I could do. So I planted my seed ms and I was feeling good about myself again.

Then Rover decided to slap me round the face. Again. I felt so alone. I just wanted a hug and someone to tell me it’ll be OK. People are so freaked out about the virus. I’m not. I’m more freaked out about not being able to get a job, losing my house and not being able to keep Buddy – the things most dear to me. I just can’t see how the country can recover from the economic impacts of this right now.

The final straw was being told that the yard is now on lockdown too. I totally understand the decision and respect it, but it breaks my heart to know that I won’t be able to see Buddy for a minimum of 3 weeks. There will be people who think he’s just a horse. But he’s so much more than that. He’s the reason I get up when I feel low. He’s the reason I keep fighting and putting one foot in front of the other. He’s my best friend, my partner-in-crime and my confidant. He keeps me happy, healthy and sane.

I headed to bed last night and pulled the covers over my head, hoping I’d wake up from this nightmare year. It’s been so tough for me personally. I’ve broken my ankle, lost my job, my Mum’s had a stroke and I’ve been ill and. lost my voice. Now this.

So this morning I sat listening to the birds and wrote a list of all of the things I can do right now.

• I can work on my Life Coaching and NLP courses
• I can potter in the garden
• I can tidy the house
• I can clear my wardrobes
• I can post clothes to sell
• I can go for a walk
• I can catch up with friends on the phone or video chats
• I can do my workouts

So that is what I’m going to do. I’m not OK. But I will be. This is a very odd time. We need to be kind to each other. Look out for each other. We will get through this. Together.

Tomatoes, cucumbers, courgettes, squashes, lettuces, spring onions and radishes all planted. Fingers crossed they grow. Very productive afternoon in the potting shed and only banged my head once!

Day 1 of lockdown and I’m getting a very strange sense of deja vue. At least this time I’m on 2 legs and able to do stuff. So as it’s a beautiful day, I’m going to potter in the garden and get my vegetables going. Off to the potting shed I go…

What are you doing?

Today I did a day’s work! First time since September last year. My Chiropractor’s receptionist is self-isolating so I offered to stand in. It was really interesting and felt good to be useful.

Chiropractors have been classed as key workers now so can continue to treat people. Patients were spaced out so there weren’t people waiting about and everyone washed their hands on arrival. I cleaned the door, surfaces and card machine between patients too.

I also learnt a lot today. I already knew that if you do get Covid-19, you shouldn’t use ibuprofen, but they now say that you should stop Echinacea and Vitamin D as well. Vitamin D is vital to boost your immune system unless you get any symptoms. They are learning more and more about this virus.

I saw this on the wall so thought I’d share these other ways to boost your immune system.

Today I did what I always do when I feel unsure – I went outdoors.

Started the day mucking out a few stables and spending time with my little boy. Then I went for a long walk round the bird reserve in the beautiful sunshine. I sat for a while watching the birds and thinking of how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful part of the world. It was really peaceful.

I went back to the yard to lunge Buddy. Decided to have a play session with him. He wasn’t sure at first, but soon got the hang of it. He can be so brave sometimes.

Then finally did my workout from Michelle.

I’m super grateful that I can do all of those things after weeks in plaster. To those who are you self-isolating, try and get outside (even if it’s just sticking your head out the window). The fresh air really helps to boost your immune system. And we all need that right now. Stay safe everyone.

No words needed I’m sure. I honestly felt like I’d come home. Just walk and a few of strides of trot to test my ankle on my friend’s trusted steed. All good so far!

Today I did something I’ve never done before, I had a cryotherapy session (3 mins of -140 degree cold). I booked it to help my ankle, but it also boosts the immune system so handy at times like this. This quote was on the wall and it really resonated in the uncertain time we find ourselves in.

I haven’t said much about the whole Covid-19 situation. Mainly that’s cause I’m trying to understand it. It’s hard to get your head round it all with so much noise. We all have to do what we feel is right to protect ourselves and support others.

Am I worried about catching it? No, I don’t have any underlying health conditions and I’m pretty resilient health-wise. If I get it, I get it. I live alone so won’t be spreading it about. I had Swine Flu and that was a pretty rough 2 weeks of my life.

Am I worried about isolation? No, I’ve spent most of the year in isolation with my ankle. I know I can cope. I’ve gotten pretty good at amusing myself and am using the time to learn new stuff.

Am I worried about the future? A bit. I’m unemployed and finding work is going to be harder and harder. I’m lucky that I have money in the bank, but it won’t last forever. I have options so am focusing on making those a reality. And trusting it’ll be OK.

Am I sad that this global crisis has brought out the worst behaviours in people? Absolutely. I understand that scared people make bad choices though.

Am I trying to find the good? You bet I am. We’ve been given an opportunity to reflect on the way we’ve lived and make some different choices. Maybe we’ll appreciate the little things (like being able to get toilet rolls) and the people who are sometimes invisible to us (and who are keeping us going).

Maybe that’s the silver lining in this dark cloud. Like all clouds, it will pass and the blue skies will return. For now, we need to learn to dance in the storm. So go outside and have a boogie!