Epiphany

So I had a bit of an epiphany this morning when I woke up. I’ve been so frustrated, angry and sad about this lockdown, it’s leaked into every part of my life. I need to stop fighting this situation and accept that it’s just a bit shit right now. Simple huh?!

I’ve been in limbo for the last 6 months for one reason or another, what’s a few more weeks. Great theory. I’ve taken this a little bit personally I guess. I know it’s not, but I’ve honestly felt like someone has it in for me. The hits just keep coming. I’ve slipped into victim-mode. I’m not a victim. I never have been. These are just the circumstances I’ve found myself in.

I’m struggling with it all. But I can’t change it, so I’m accepting this is how it is. I’ve tried so hard to put one foot in front of the other. But maybe I’m trying to outrun it.

I’ve come so far, sure I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m proud of myself for picking myself up time and time again.

As I opened my curtains this morning, it struck me that my camellia had bloomed fully and I’d been so busy feeling pissed off with life or trying to distract myself from the reality of my life, that I hadn’t taken the time to appreciate how stunning it is.

So take this time to stop and appreciate the things that are all around us.

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