Nothing says you’re getting older than the array of tests you suddenly become eligible for. The latest one for me – bowel cancer. I’m all clear by the way. I got the results through today.

Must admit, I was slightly unnerved to receive a testing kit through the post. Even more unnerved having to smear my own poo on a stick and return it in the post.

Yes I know I’m used to shovelling poo. But horse poo is a bit different to my own. I had to read the instructions a few times to check I was doing it right. As someone who writes for a living, that was one job I wouldn’t want. Take a moment to feel for the poor copywriter having to sensitively but clearly explain what to do. Basically stick the stick in the shit and stick the shitty stick in the post. Or words to the effect of…