Abode

I’m back home after a very long and emotional week. Driving back gave me time to reflect on things. My Mum has been very poorly for over 5 years. It’s been a lot. I guess I’ve had plenty of time to think about her passing. Rehearse it in many ways. Don’t get me wrong, there’s much sadness. There are also a lifetime of memories to look back at too.

I listened to a podcast on the way back that compared life to a roadtrip. The irony of me listening to it on the M25 wasn’t lost believe me. When you drive, you spend more time looking at the road ahead than you do looking in your rear view mirror. I guess that’s why the windscreen is bigger than the rear window.

It was an interesting analogy. And got me thinking about where I’m heading. Not literally of course. My first stop was to see Buddy, well after getting home and seeing the kittens. The kittens were very pleased to see me. Buddy was more interested in his hay. He did give me a couple of smooches. I’ll take that. And an evening of kitten cuddles on the sofa.

I know I will need to head back to my Dad’s again soon. But for now, I’m happy to be home.

Sadness

I feel wrung out today. The past few months finally caught up with me. I cried for two hours last night. So much sadness came up. I know I’m processing the things that have gone on.

One of my FB memories was of me hacking with Martine. It tipped me over the edge.

It’s been a lot lately. In recent weeks, I’ve lost my next-door neighbour, my friend, two ex-work colleagues, my close friend has lost her Dad. I’m seeing more and more friends with cancer. My Mum is still in hospital. And my Dad is struggling.

There’s so much sadness weirdness in the world. It’s hard not to be affected. So many people I speak to are struggling with something or other. It’s all very odd right now.

I know that it’ll pass. I’m shattered from a full on period of work. Even by my standards, lat week was bonkers. I’m also emotional as it’s Martine’s funeral this week.

So I’m cutting myself a lot of slack. I know what’s going on. So I went and spent time with my handsome boy. And for a few hours I put everything down.

Nero

The house feels odd without him. I keep thinking he’ll come trotting through the doorway. I’m all cried out. There can’t possibly be any tears left. And then they come again.

I’m grateful I gave him a great life. And he gave me so much love.