Hickstead the return

I’m home after a very long, very emotional and very wonderful weekend at Hickstead. My god, I bloody love RI.

I am so proud of each and every one of the 11 other Carleton riders today. If I thought being team manager last year was an emotional rollercoaster, adding riding in too and it was one hell of a ride!

With hindsight, my focus had been on getting us and everyone there, rather than my preparation with Buddy. He was in one of his more feral moods. Still we started well and ended well, shame it unravelled a bit in the middle.

He got his legs in a muddle at Fence 3 and had it down. After a rather awkward jump at Fence 4, the arena came rushing towards me at an alarming rate. Thankfully I managed to stay in the plate. Just. But it killed our canter and we had a stop at Fence 5. He cleared it at the second attempt and we headed to Fence 6 – the iconic planks….

Yup, you guessed it. He had it down. He was in good company as so did many other competitors. And Fence 5 saw a number of stops. So I didn’t feel quite so bad about our round.

I realised that it was only his second competition of the year. Talk about throwing him in at the deep end. I know I can ride better. I didn’t eat or have coffee before my round. I didn’t get the best night’s sleep. Driving the new lorry took more out of me than I thought. These are things that I can work on.

Overall we did it. I can now say that I have jumped twice at Hickstead. Maybe third time will be the charm?! For now I have more memories and another two photos to add to the collection.

Good omens

This made me smile today. I do love it when you get a lovely reminder. I posted this when I was seriously miserable without a horse. Six months later, Murphy would arrive in my life and my adventures with horses would recommence.

Fast forward 16 years and I’m all packed ready take Buddy again to Hickstead tomorrow. We’re competing on Sunday in the BRC Team of 3.

Pip from back then would never believe that I would get to jump at Hickstead once, let alone twice. When I first did back in 2023, it was a lifelong dream come true… {yes I am still going on about it}.

Sunday I hope to do better than our last effort. Regardless of what happens, I’m incredibly proud of the horsey journey I’ve been on. The three horses I’ve had in the last 15 years have brought me so many memories – good and bad.

I’m taking this as a good omen. Of course this was watching the King George V Cup. Our round will be a lot smaller, but just as important. Well to me anyway.

Ashes to ashes

We scattered my Mum’s ashes today. Her last wish was to be scattered in Golders Green Crematorium. Alongside her Dad, Mum, Brother and Son.

It’s a beautiful place. So peaceful given it’s in London. It was my first visit as I wasn’t there when the others were scattered.

I feel like I had the chance to say my final goodbyes to those already there. As well as to my Mum.

Afterwards, we headed to Sunny Hill to have some lunch and give Bert a runaround. It was aptly named that’s for sure! He loved meeting his Grandad and his cousins.

On the way back, I stopped at Thetford Forest so Bert could have a leg stretch. I must admit I needed one too after a lot of driving. It’s been a long, lovely day…

Teasels

I spotted these teasels while walking Bert today. They reminded me of my Nanna and wonderful Saturday afternoon memories from my childhood. She lived in a flat in Brighton, well Hove actually (in joke there). One of her neighbours taught me how to comb wool with teasels. And spin it into yarn. Who knew I could be rather skilful with a spinning wheel. She also tried to teach me to crochet. I wasn’t very good at that! My Nanna taught me how to knit. I was OK at that. My Mum, on the other hand, was an avid knitter. The constant clacking of needles was a very familiar sound growing up.

It’s funny how objects can stir such memories. Got me thinking about all of the other things I can do. I have so many skills. Not sure I have many talents. But I can do an awful lot of things. I’ve probably forgotten quite a few too.

I can feel a bit of a skills audit coming on. Not sure my abilities with a spinning wheel are in high demand. But you never know…

Right now, I need to put some more energy into my business and find a few more clients.

Camper fans

On my way back from my Dad’s, I stopped at Elveden to catch up with some of my camp friends for lunch. Going to camps with Buddy have been some of my favourite times over the years. They’re time away from the chaos of my life. Time with like-minded people, great instructors and of course my best camp Buddy.

I love this photo of us. It’s one of those natural ones where I had no idea I was being snapped. It sums up camp to me. Lots of smiles, laughs and love.

I’ve made so many friends at camp. I love catching up with them. After a few very emotional days, it was just what I needed. Lots of hugs, love, good food and even better company…

Registrar

And just like that, I’m back down South. We are now able to register my Mum’s death. So I came down to support my Dad. The Registrars’ office has moved into the Library. It’s such a funky building. Many memories of coming here as a child. My first office job was across the road. So I would pop in here sometimes in my lunch break to pick up a book or two.

I have to say, it was a very surreal process. A few questions and fact checking. Then a death certificate is produced. And my Mum has officially gone. It makes it very real.

I love watching genealogy programmes. I’ve found out a lot about my lineages. Today reminds me that for every name on a family tree or death certificate, there was a life lived. Each person made memories, had many stories to tell and played a part in many others lives. We will all leave a legacy in the mind of those we leave behind. Bit like the books in the library…

Prancy one

This photo came up on my memories today. 10 years ago, Murphy and I were out dancing. We got a 9 for our final halt. The one and only time I’ve got a 9 in a dressage test. For basically standing still!! Kinda sums up my relationship with dressage.

I’d love to say that I’ve improved since then. Buddy is very different to Murphy. Let’s just go with I’ve tried really hard to improve since then. When he’s not spooking at the markers and I’m not riding like a muppet.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about my horsey goals this year. With Buddy being off games for a big chunk of it, it’s given me time to reflect on stuff. I know my biggest issue with dressage is that I don’t feel I’m good enough. So I’ve been looking at why. Not got to the bottom of it. Yet.

As equestrians, we literally pay someone to judge us! In my book, that takes guts and confidence. Maybe it’s time to stop thinking and just start dancing…

Watched

It’s been rather weird being in my parents house today. I’ve spent many days here on my own. After all, we moved here when I was 4 years old. Today it felt different. Understandably.

But I was being watched. Literally. This photo of my Mum sits on top of the display cabinet. It was a professional photo she’d had taken when she was 21 and had just had her VERY long hair cut short. It’s always been favourite photo for me. Today it brought me comfort.

As did the photos around the house. She looked so vibrant and full of life. The past 5 years have been very tough. Many of you have been on the ‘Parental Rollercoaster’ with me over that time. They’ve both had more than their fair share of medical issues. I’ve seen the inside of far too many hospital wards. I used to joke with my Mum that she didn’t get a prize for ticking them all off! Or frequent NHS flyer point. She definitely wracked up a few! They both have.

Hopefully, I’ve seen the last ward for a while as my Dad was discharged and is now back home…

5 star

Back home after a fab day out at Burghley Horse Trails. A mere 10 miles walked round the course today. And what a course. It was very testing. But then you come to expect that. It’s not a 5* for nothing.

There seemed to be a few bogey fences out there. It was quite an achievement getting round. Saw some amazing riding. Some incredible partnerships.

I’ve been to two 5*s this year. Badminton and Burghley. They’re so different. I love them both. Glad I managed to get to both. Even if it was just for cross country day.

Clocked up some more miles on the Comedy Car and my step count is high. My feet and legs are aching. I’m tired, but a good tired. It’s so worth it for the memories made.

SOS

Yesterday I got an SOS. So today I went to the Lincoln Showground and back. As you do. Or rather as I do.

One of my friends was competing at the BRC Championships today and needed company / support. We all know I love a horsey roadtrip. Even better when I’m fed, caffeinated and get two lorry dogs to cuddle.

It also meant I got to surprise the other Carleton RC competitors. I have very fond memories of competing at the Champs in 2022. It wasn’t our crowning glory. But we did it. I have some lovely photos and a rosette. I was rather jealous of the stable plaques. They didn’t have those my year, but I did get a medal.

We will be back one day I’m sure. For now, I was happy to be groom / cheerleader / emotional support Pip.