Tag: loss

Nice touch

Super sub went to the football tonight. My goodness it was a cold one! I was definitely ready for my hot chocolate at half time. And my hot cross bun! I do love half-time snacks.

I saw this in the Ladies. What a nice touch. Made me wonder how much I’d spent on sanitary products over the years. A lot most likely. I’m sure someone clever has worked out an average. Anyway, well done Norwich City.

Notice how I’m not talking about the actual match. That was definitely a game of two halves. First half, we scored twice. Hurrah! Second half, they scored three times. Boo!

You can’t win them all… But it would be good to see a win now and then at Carrow Road.

Storm Bert

Say hello to my mid-life crisis! I had to drive through Storm Bert to pick up the newest man in my life, Bert. If I ever needed a sign it was meant to be…!

I’d already picked his name before I found out about the storm. He’s Bert after my Grandfather Albert. A homage to my Mum’s side of the family. And he was my closest connection to horses.

It’s been a long time since I had a dog. But I’ve always wanted another one. The time has never felt right. My life is too chaotic. Too full on. But losing my Mum and others has made me realise just how short life can be. So when the opportunity to have this little cutie came up, I said yes!

We’ve had first contact the kittens. They’re a bit confused by the noises. Dodo was very brave and came to say hello. Hugo, not so much. I’m sure they will all love each other in time.

Red sky

The sky was on fire when I got back from the yard. It was so radiant that it gave the whole garden a pinky hue. It was very pretty indeed! As are the flowers that have blossomed. Again. I have things in bloom that should be out in Spring!!

I woke up feeling quite disconnected today. So I pottered before taking Buddy out for a lovely long ride out. Best way to ground myself. The last week has been an emotional rollercoaster. It will take time to come to terms with it all.

If the saying is anything to go by, tomorrow will be a nice date. But never mind shepherd’s delight. A red sky at night was Pip’s delight too.

Buffalo

Today has been one of my more challenging ones. Last night, I received the phone call I’d been anticipating and dreading in equal measure. The one telling me that my Mum had passed away.

After a few more phone calls and a very broken night, this morning I drove down to visit my Dad to tell him the news. He is currently in hospital recovering from an infection. And I wanted to tell him face to face.

As I drove down, I was reminded of this fact. So I embraced my inner buffalo and charged towards this particular storm. This is going to be a new era for us all. One without my Mum.

This blog will continue. There will be lots of tears I’m sure. For now, I am shattered, drained and feel like my head might explode with all of the emotions. Early night for me…

Wings

8 years ago I said my final goodbye to Murphy. I gave him his wings so he could soar to thank him for the times he helped me fly.

Today when I walked into Buddy’s stable I found this white feather. Not a clue where it could have come from. Even though I knew it was the right thing to do, it was the hardest (and easiest) decision I’ve made.

I thank him every day for the lessons he taught me and for the bruises along the way. My life was richer for him, he saved me from myself and he will always be etched in my heart.

He paved the way for Buddy. I’m sure he’s watching over us. And hope he’s proud of the partnership we’ve created.

Buddy was put through his paces today by the lovely Natalie. She rode him beautifully and was SO complimentary about him. I tend to be very critical of my riding and the lack of progression. Then I have moments like today when someone gets on him and raves about him. Reminds me of how far we’ve come.

So tonight I raised a glass to all of my horses. They all hold a special place in my heart. And helped shape the equestrian I am.

Sadness

I feel wrung out today. The past few months finally caught up with me. I cried for two hours last night. So much sadness came up. I know I’m processing the things that have gone on.

One of my FB memories was of me hacking with Martine. It tipped me over the edge.

It’s been a lot lately. In recent weeks, I’ve lost my next-door neighbour, my friend, two ex-work colleagues, my close friend has lost her Dad. I’m seeing more and more friends with cancer. My Mum is still in hospital. And my Dad is struggling.

There’s so much sadness weirdness in the world. It’s hard not to be affected. So many people I speak to are struggling with something or other. It’s all very odd right now.

I know that it’ll pass. I’m shattered from a full on period of work. Even by my standards, lat week was bonkers. I’m also emotional as it’s Martine’s funeral this week.

So I’m cutting myself a lot of slack. I know what’s going on. So I went and spent time with my handsome boy. And for a few hours I put everything down.

In your memory

I lost a good friend last week. Our yard did too. So today we went for a yard hack today in her memory. We wore her favourite colour – pink. We rode one of her favourite routes. And when we got back we toasted her and ate her favourite cake – fondant fancies.

I walked the route. Nearly 5 miles. Well Buddy had worked very hard at camp so he got to sit this one out. But I wanted to be a part of a special moment. For a very special lady.

The sun shone for you Martine.

Always remember

A few years ago, a very wise woman suggested that I hang a bauble on my tree for my brother. This is the bauble I chose.

I know so many people who have lost a loved one in the past year, it feels right that it be not only for my brother, but for them too. So this is for those who aren’t here this Christmas. 😊

Childhood comfort

Today was definitely a tomato soup kinda day. It’s always my go to when I need comfort food. It reminds me of being sick as a child, getting back from riding frozen through and generally a hug in a bowl.

It’s been a sad day with two of my closest friends facing losses today. My heart goes out to them both.

Life can be so joyous. And sad all at the same time. Enjoy the ride people.