In your memory

I lost a good friend last week. Our yard did too. So today we went for a yard hack today in her memory. We wore her favourite colour – pink. We rode one of her favourite routes. And when we got back we toasted her and ate her favourite cake – fondant fancies.

I walked the route. Nearly 5 miles. Well Buddy had worked very hard at camp so he got to sit this one out. But I wanted to be a part of a special moment. For a very special lady.

The sun shone for you Martine.

Processing

Today I’m better than I was. My brain isn’t working very well. I’m exhausted from the crying.

Nero was such a big part of my life for so many years. It’s going to take time to get used to him not being here.

I knew it was coming. Doesn’t make it easier though.

I did a great healing meditation earlier. Then took Buddy out for a hack. And had a blast up the gallops on Buddy.

That helped. Put a huge smile on my face.

Grief

I’ve been a dribble mess today. Lots of tears. They started when I woke up and Nero wasn’t there asking for breakfast. It felt very strange indeed.

I cancelled my appointments and had a long snuggle with the kittens. Then went for a long walk to clear my head. Got caught in the rain.

We all grieve in different ways, for different things. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. Today I was kind and rather than trying to push through, I tried to stay in the present.

There are some who may think ‘it’s just a cat’. But he was so much more than that. Nero was my confident, my company and my shadow. He has been a constant throughout the past challenging 2 years as well. He barely left my side when I was on box rest with my ankle. He was the one I talked to during lockdown.

He will be sorely missed.

It seems that Hugo has taken on Nero’s mantle as chief snuggler. He’s on my lap now.

I’m grateful that I have the kittens. And that I was able to be with Nero at the end.