Wakehurst

I needed to get outdoors today, so I headed over to Wakehurst Place this afternoon. Being outdoors and in nature are good healers for me. With all the emotions and stress of the past few days, I’d usually go for a long ride on Buddy. That’s not an option at the moment. So this was the next best thing.

Wakehurst Place is part of Kew Gardens and the National Trust. My Mum was a lifetime National Trust member, so I borrowed her card. We used to go there together. But I haven’t been for many years.

I walked round the gardens. Then found a bench to sit and reflect. The bench was dedicated with a line from a Wordsworth poem ‘To stay the wanderer’s steps and soothe his thoughts.’ Seemed rather fitting.

I had a chat with a magpie as you do. Before walking up to the highest point. As I sat looking out across the treetops, I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. Luckily there was no-one around.

On my way out, I noticed a plant I recognised. It was a Veronica. My Mum’s favourite. Can’t imagine why?! Guess I’ll be getting one for the garden.

Impermeable

Merry Christmas me! I was feeling rather smug in my new coat this afternoon. I bought it when we were at the London International Horse Show. In the torrential rain today, I was jolly glad I did!

Not only was I toasty warm, I was dry as a bone. Hurrah! This was the first time I’d really tested it in the rain. It put a smile on my face.

Very different from this morning when I couldn’t stop crying. Everything was tumbling out of my face. It’s been an emotional few months for me. It was bound to catch up with me eventually.

I couldn’t get going either. So I cut myself some slack and sat in the conservatory listening to the rain.

Hopefully the rain (and the tears) will stop soon. If not, at least I’ll be dry.

Setting sun

Today I’ve rested, I’ve cried and I’ve spent as much time as I can outdoors. Today was about me. The past week and yet more parental angst finally caught up with me.

I woke up feeling quite discombobulated. I’ve had one night at home in October. Funny how it goes like that. Things that were all planned out perfectly, ended up crashing into each other. Guess that’s life huh?!

After two long dog walks and an even longer hack, I sat in the conservatory with the dogs and watched the sun set on another day. Thinking about all the good in my life. And believe me there’s a lot!!

That’s the thing about life, you get a do over. Tomorrow is another day. It’s my last night in Beighton, so watching Strictly and getting lots of puppy cuddles.

Crumpled

Today hasn’t been my best day. I’m over-tired, over-emotional and quite frankly all over the place. Things from my past that I thought were resolved have reared their heads and slapped me round the face. So I’m taking the time I need to look at them again.

It’s OK. It happens. I’m OK. Well not completely, but I will be. I’m tired from spinning so many plates. I’m not complaining. It’s a good place to be. But it takes a toll sometimes. There’s a lot of responsibility on my little shoulders.

I feel rather crumpled at the moment. Life has been quite serious lately. I want to get the joy back. It’s hard when I feel like I’m being pulled in lots of directions.

So doing my best and trusting the process. Again.