Groggy

I woke up full of snot, tight chest and generally feeling groggy.

It’s been a hugely emotional week. It’s all affected me more than I imagined. On the back of a very stressful and busy period with work. I’m physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

So I admitted defeat and did a version of self-care. Hot shower, chicken & mushroom Pot Noodle and a Disney Pixar film. Followed by Strictly. Before I head to bed.

A massive thank you to everyone who’s checked in on me. I hate feeling like this. I know it’ll pass. Grief is so individual.

Treats

It was our riding club AGM tonight. My first time as a Committee member.

I had the honour of presenting the Martine Holden trophy. It was bought by her family to honour her. I managed to get through the presentation without crying.

The same couldn’t be said when I presented the Horse of the Year trophy to her mare Missy. The tears were flowing then. It’s been an emotional week!

Of course, Buddy is always my horse of the year. And he’s going to be very happy to see this bag of treats I was given.

Farewell

Today I said goodbye to my friend Martine. It was an emotional service to say the least. My tears were already flowing. Then I saw her riding hat on her coffin.

It was also a very fitting tribute to a wonderful woman. I will think of her every time I ride. Her wise words ringing in my ears. I will think of her every time I put on hi-viz. Her stern words ringing in my ears.

When I got Buddy, 7 years ago today, she told me that she would help me with ‘this one’. ‘This one’ was the one for me. And she was spot on there!

When she praised you, you knew it was well earned. When she said she was proud of you, it was the most magical feeling.

So thank you Martine. You helped me more than you will ever know. I’m now riding for us both.

Sadness

I feel wrung out today. The past few months finally caught up with me. I cried for two hours last night. So much sadness came up. I know I’m processing the things that have gone on.

One of my FB memories was of me hacking with Martine. It tipped me over the edge.

It’s been a lot lately. In recent weeks, I’ve lost my next-door neighbour, my friend, two ex-work colleagues, my close friend has lost her Dad. I’m seeing more and more friends with cancer. My Mum is still in hospital. And my Dad is struggling.

There’s so much sadness weirdness in the world. It’s hard not to be affected. So many people I speak to are struggling with something or other. It’s all very odd right now.

I know that it’ll pass. I’m shattered from a full on period of work. Even by my standards, lat week was bonkers. I’m also emotional as it’s Martine’s funeral this week.

So I’m cutting myself a lot of slack. I know what’s going on. So I went and spent time with my handsome boy. And for a few hours I put everything down.

Blackbarn

One of my friends, Christine came to visit me today. So I took her over to Salhouse Farm Shop & Cafe at Blackbarn Farm. It’s such a lovely place. And a stunning view.

I can definitely recommend their fish finger bap!

We chatted for over 4 hours and could have easily chatted for another 4!

Escape

And rest…. Today I slept in. I lounged about. I caught up with friends. I did the things that fill my soul. I took Buddy out for a long hack. I let the air fill my lungs. I felt the cold on my face. I admired the changing view as the leaves turn.

I came home. I ate good food. I rested. It’s not often that I do that. But after a week of little sleep, even less food and a lot of rushing about – it was very much needed.

Working with words

Super sub was called into action again today. On Thursday, I was asked if I could fill in and be part of a panel at the UEA about PR & Comms. It was part of an annual event called ‘Working With Words’.

It was an easy yes if I’m honest. Anyone who knows me, knows I love words. And I love the career I’ve created around them. So to be able to talk to the next generation of potential ‘Pip’s’ was wonderful.

Hopefully I inspired them. As well as giving them an honest appraisal of the role. It’s not all glamour and glitz. It’s hard graft. But so rewarding.

Tired

I’m more tired than the Mayor of Tiredsville right now. It was a really struggle getting up this morning when the alarm went off. Can’t say I was at my best today peopling. Hopefully I didn’t make any mistakes.

I told one of the other receptionists the hours I’d done this week. Her reaction? How are you still standing?!

I sometimes ask myself the same question.

The kittens have definitely missed me. They’ve both stayed close. Lots of cuddles on the sofa were the order of the day. Not sure what they’ve got to be tired about though. Maybe they’ve been partying too while I’ve been away.

Team Swan

Back home after a mammoth few days at Celtic Manor delivering the Annual (and infamous) Hoseasons Owners Conference.

It was full on, that’s for sure. What a blast though! From the moment we arrived, it was go, go, GO. The months of planning came into reality. It’s an incredible feeling being able to look back at all the things we’ve talked about and see them come to life in front of your eyes. We definitely hit the brief on this one.

So proud to work alongside these powerhouses to make up ‘Team Swan’. And believe me there was a lot of paddling going on at time. A few tears, a lot of laughs and more memories in the bank.

So far the feedback has been great. All of the external speakers were very well received. A lot of mancrushing on Jason Fox and that was just the staff! What a lovely guy he is.

Rounded off the evening being the glamorous assistant handing over awards. Apparently my dress was very sparkly under the lights. It was definitely in keeping with our modern 70s evening theme – inspired by our final act of the night Bjorn Again!

The dance floor was packed, branded glow sticks in hand. What a way to end a packed day.

I am one very proud Events Manager tonight. I’m also one very tired and achy bunny.