Registrar

And just like that, I’m back down South. We are now able to register my Mum’s death. So I came down to support my Dad. The Registrars’ office has moved into the Library. It’s such a funky building. Many memories of coming here as a child. My first office job was across the road. So I would pop in here sometimes in my lunch break to pick up a book or two.

I have to say, it was a very surreal process. A few questions and fact checking. Then a death certificate is produced. And my Mum has officially gone. It makes it very real.

I love watching genealogy programmes. I’ve found out a lot about my lineages. Today reminds me that for every name on a family tree or death certificate, there was a life lived. Each person made memories, had many stories to tell and played a part in many others lives. We will all leave a legacy in the mind of those we leave behind. Bit like the books in the library…

Results

Blimey that was a rather long and fraught day. With lots of good results! First up I was judging the last show jumping show for John Lake RC. It was wonderful seeing so many smiling rounds. Bit fraught at times. Some fab costumes too. But everyone seemed to enjoy the day.

We ran a bit behind, so it meant a speedy exit to head over to Carrow Road. After NCFC taking an early lead, expectations were high. Then Middleborough scored 3 goals before halftime. A very tense second half and 2 more goals for City. Meant the final score was 3-3. Bonkers match! Great result!

The final result was getting the last Sunday Roasts for dinner at the pub after the match. Yum!

Poles & puppies

Today has been about poles and puppies. Started the day taking Buddy to a pole clinic. He was exceptional. Well for Buddy and Poles! Think we were both a bit excited at being back out doing stuff.

And I suspect he was waiting for the poles to turn into jumps. Sadly he was out of luck there. Still lots of positives to take away.

This afternoon I headed down to Simon & Harry’s for a long overdue catch up. It’s been far too long since I visited them. Definitely got a very warm welcome.

I got to have cuddles with their puppies too. Oh my day, talk about scrumminess!! I’ve known almost all their dogs since they were puppies. So fitting that I got to meet these squigglings. They all have lovely homes lined up. Some people are going to be very lucky indeed.

Late bloomer

How pretty is this rose? It’s almost glowing. The only issues is that it really shouldn’t be flowering right now. It’s so mild, I have lots of things coming back. My sweet peas have started to grow again.

Not that I’m complaining. My garden looks really pretty with lots of new growth. My lawn needs mowing. But it’s nearly November.

The weather feels as surreal as my life right now. So I’m grounding myself and focusing on the little things.

Assembly

It’s been way too long since I caught up with this beauty. She’s one of my ‘wise women’. I love chatting to her. We met at the Assembly House for lunch. Both of us having major flashbacks to events there. We both worked at Aviva, but didn’t know each other then. We mixed in the same circles, but it was only after we both left, we met through horses.

We have so much in common. We’re both Sussex girls and used to work for London & Edinburgh in Worthing many moons ago. Funny how life goes like that. You have chances to meet and don’t. But then when the stars align, it’s magical.

Even though we have caught up for ages, it was like no time had passed at all. I love it when that happens. Thank you Anna, you were definitely good for my soul today.

Buzz cut

Buddy finally had his first clip today. I’ve had to put it back twice as he didn’t have much to clip! It’s been so mild that he’s been getting a bit sweaty. So glad he’s done.

Clipping with Buddy has been quite the journey. He’s gone from histrionics to mild indifference. We were reminiscing about some of his antics. He’s rather ticklish so he’s still expressive. He still doesn’t like his ears or face doing. But for the most part, he was a really good boy for Beki.

Doesn’t he look smart?

Red sky

The sky was on fire when I got back from the yard. It was so radiant that it gave the whole garden a pinky hue. It was very pretty indeed! As are the flowers that have blossomed. Again. I have things in bloom that should be out in Spring!!

I woke up feeling quite disconnected today. So I pottered before taking Buddy out for a lovely long ride out. Best way to ground myself. The last week has been an emotional rollercoaster. It will take time to come to terms with it all.

If the saying is anything to go by, tomorrow will be a nice date. But never mind shepherd’s delight. A red sky at night was Pip’s delight too.

Abode

I’m back home after a very long and emotional week. Driving back gave me time to reflect on things. My Mum has been very poorly for over 5 years. It’s been a lot. I guess I’ve had plenty of time to think about her passing. Rehearse it in many ways. Don’t get me wrong, there’s much sadness. There are also a lifetime of memories to look back at too.

I listened to a podcast on the way back that compared life to a roadtrip. The irony of me listening to it on the M25 wasn’t lost believe me. When you drive, you spend more time looking at the road ahead than you do looking in your rear view mirror. I guess that’s why the windscreen is bigger than the rear window.

It was an interesting analogy. And got me thinking about where I’m heading. Not literally of course. My first stop was to see Buddy, well after getting home and seeing the kittens. The kittens were very pleased to see me. Buddy was more interested in his hay. He did give me a couple of smooches. I’ll take that. And an evening of kitten cuddles on the sofa.

I know I will need to head back to my Dad’s again soon. But for now, I’m happy to be home.

Prancy one

This photo came up on my memories today. 10 years ago, Murphy and I were out dancing. We got a 9 for our final halt. The one and only time I’ve got a 9 in a dressage test. For basically standing still!! Kinda sums up my relationship with dressage.

I’d love to say that I’ve improved since then. Buddy is very different to Murphy. Let’s just go with I’ve tried really hard to improve since then. When he’s not spooking at the markers and I’m not riding like a muppet.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about my horsey goals this year. With Buddy being off games for a big chunk of it, it’s given me time to reflect on stuff. I know my biggest issue with dressage is that I don’t feel I’m good enough. So I’ve been looking at why. Not got to the bottom of it. Yet.

As equestrians, we literally pay someone to judge us! In my book, that takes guts and confidence. Maybe it’s time to stop thinking and just start dancing…

Fridge magnets

My Mum like to collect things. She had lots of teaspoons at one point. She used to collect hotel soaps and had lots from all over the world. My parents extensively travelled so she had plenty of opportunity to pick them up. There’s still a jar I the cloakroom.

She also was very partial to a fridge magnet. Again, she picked them up all over the world. Their old freezer was covered in the them. When my Dad got replaced it, I bagged up the magnets for safe keeping but they didn’t get put back up.

Today my Dad and I were going through her stuff from the Nursing Home and found this. So I put it on the fridge for her.

It’s very apt too. I have had so many messages from friends checking in on me. It means so much. I’m doing OK. After yesterday’s tears, today I felt calmer. We had a really good meeting with the funeral directors. I’m better when I have a plan or milestones to work towards. I’m navigating this as best I can right now.