It’s amazing what a good nights sleep can do for your state of mind! Woke up feeling more refreshed today. I’m still exhausted but that’s cause all my energy is going into healing my talus.

I’ve started to accept that I can’t do the things I want to and focus on the little things I can. I can get myself up, I can feed myself and I can take myself to the toilet. That’s more than some people can. I’m just not used to feeling so exhausted from doing so little.

I had a shower yesterday morning, which felt so good. I then had to wait 30 mins till I had enough energy to make my breakfast. I remember this feeling from when I broke my little finger and thumb. Healing bones takes a LOT of energy. And this is a much bigger bone and a more serious break.

I’ve always prided myself on being self-reliant, independent and self-sufficient. There’s not much I can’t sort out. This injury has made me have to ask for help, accept others doing things for me and I’m very grateful they are. It’s hard though. ‘Pip’s Angel’s’ have been in full force since my accident. From cleaning my house, feeding me, shopping for me and even doing my laundry. These are just a few of the things I can’t do right now. I’m learning that it’s OK to ask for help. It’s OK to let others share the load. It’s OK not to be OK.

Vitamin C is very important for healing. I’m such a child sometimes…

Better night last night. I’ve now found 3 comfortable sleeping positions – hurrah! The ‘right side with my bad foot out the duvet’, the ‘on my back with my bad foot out the bottom of the duvet’ and the ‘left side bad leg bent‘. Hoping for an even better night as I’ve requested some sleeping tablets from one of ‘Pip’s Angel’s’ as my wonderful friends shall now be known. One of them popped in for a chat yesterday and told me that I need to be like Harry Potter for the next week and grow my bones back. Found this on Amazon – think I might need to get it to replace the one I shrunk. 😂

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07P83ZDGZ/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=langlep-21&creative=6738&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B07P83ZDGZ&linkId=beaf5c41c9a0ced77e4c84a89cd6a386

Another bad nights sleep. This is starting to do my head in. My cast is so heavy and cumbersome. If you want a bit of an insight, try wearing a boot to bed. Had to get up 3 times in the night to pee. My body is obviously trying to flush stuff out. That’s a really good thing, trouble is it takes so much effort to get up and go. I managed to get a sock caught in one of my frame wheels – cue me standing in the hallway telling said sock off while trying not falling over. I must have looked some sight!!

“It will get better, it will get better…..”

To add injury to insult (literally), I managed to graze my good ankle with my cast as I rolled over in the night. So now my good ankle is stinging and my bad ankle is itching.

“It will get better, it will get better…..”

Woke up to find one of the cats has brought up a fur ball. No issue normally. But at the moment, I can’t bend down to clean it without risking falling over. So that’ll have to wait for whoever comes to visit me today. You’re welcome!!

“It will get better, it will get better…..”

Made myself some breakfast and somehow managed to get myself wedged between my fridge door handle and my utility dirt handle. So now I have a sore hip too. Honestly my spacial awareness isn’t great at the best of times, but it’s even worse when I’m tired. Next time you make breakfast, try doing it on one leg. It’s hard work.

“It will get better, it will get better…..”

Finally sat down to eat my breakfast and realised I’d forgotten to turn the heating on while I was up. That was the final straw and I burst into tears. 😫

“It will get better, it will get better…..”

Right now, I’m really struggling with even the simplest of tasks. All of my energy is going into healing and just existing. I know it will get better. But right now, it’s really bloody hard work.

Still this little face can always make me smile….

Guessing my water bottle wasn’t dishwasher proof. Honestly, it’s a wonder I don’t hurt myself sometimes. Oh wait…. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thought I’d have a change of scene today so decamped from the sofa to the conservatory. Good job my little house is indeed little. Topping up my Vitamin D now with the door open. You’d never guess it was January. It’s warm, clear skies and the birds are in full song. Isn’t Mother Nature great. Definitely helping my soul right now v

Nero loves the fact I’m a) home and b) sat down a lot. He rarely leaves my side. Today he was enjoying my company a little bit too much as he managed to take over most of the pillow that I was resting my foot on. Apparently it’s his foot stool. 😂

Didn’t get a great nights sleep as I couldn’t get comfortable. Tried a pillow under my foot but must have slipped off as I woke up when my foot hit the bed. 😫 Tried the pillow between the legs, but felt weirdly awkward like I should have bought the pillow dinner for first or something. 😂 Finally gave up on the pillow and extract myself from the duvet after I got it caught on round me leg and got some sleep.

Think the full reality of what’s happened has hit me today. I’m teary, exhausted and frustrated. My foot is aching. Not in a ‘oh my god, I can’t bear the pain’ kinda way, just a ‘oh yes I’m still here’ kinda way. Like an annoying fly that won’t bugger off.

I did too much yesterday. And when I say I did too much, I hardly ran a marathon. I just spent too much time on my good leg. I’m not weight bearing so hopping around with my little trolley. I’m getting up some speed now, but it’s hard work. Good job I’m fit and healthy. I’m spending most of my time with my leg elevated, so when I move about the blood rushes to my foot and it bloody hurts!! Then aches afterwards.

Sure it’ll get easier. It’s only been a week since I broke it. And not yet a week since it was fixed.

Anyone who knows me, knows that patience isn’t one of my strengths. I’m doing so little already, I’m honestly not sure what I can do less of (without starving or wetting myself).

Whenever they checked my blood pressure in hospital (which was an awful lot as it was ridiculously low after my surgery), I was asked if I’d done a poo. Something that doesn’t come up in usual conversation. Maybe it should as it’s something we all do. And can cause lots of issues when we don’t. I’d mastered the bedpan by adapting a shoulder bridge Pilates move but only using one leg. Then proceeded to a commode, before braving the bathroom using my frame. It seemed peeing was not an issue for me. But alas no poo.

Anyway, today I’ve done my first no.2 since Saturday. Woo hoo indeed! No laxatives needed either. 💩

Having 2 ageing parents, I know a lot about more their bodily functions than I ever thought I would need too either! It’s now a regular topic of conversation for us all. I kid you not!

And while we’re on the subject, does anyone else look down the loo afterwards and wonder how on earth that much poo came out of me?! 😳 Does it get stored in your intestines like that expanding foam stuff? Or is it up there, fully formed? Anyone?

Well I’m Pip. I’m crashing towards 50 (another big milestone this year). I work in Marketing (though I’m being made redundant in February). And I’ve been riding for longer than I care to think about. Horses have always been a big part of my life. It’s more of a lifestyle than a hobby. You either get it or you don’t. We’re a bit of a different breed as we put our trust in an animal weighting half a ton or so who’s scared of a plastic bag. It’s the only sport where your equipment has a say in what happens.

I always try to live life to the full and look on the bright side. There have been some life-changing events in my life so far. Some I dealt with well. Some not so much. Like most people I have my demons (they have names). And like most people I have things I want to do.

So 2020 was going to be my year. The year I got my life sorted after being served redundancy notice from my job in November. The year I ticked off more things from my horsey bucket list. The year I got my mental health back under control and reduced stress in my life. I had a plan. And it was a good one. Then the plan changed dramatically on Thursday 2 January. I came off my horse at speed and broke my ankle. Badly. Like all good equestrians, I got back on and rode back to the yard, sorted Buddy out and then drove myself to A&E. That’s where this journey really began…

I was sent home from A&E and told to crack on, only to receive a bone call later to say they’d missed a fracture (and a rather nasty one at that). Whoops! So fracture clinic on Friday 3 January, surgery on Sunday 5 January and home today to recover.

Here I am now, sat on my sofa clearing clinics and competitions out of my diary and wondering what the next few months will bring.

I need to get a new job. I need to make sure Buddy is kept ticking over. I need to recover from this. Follow this journey if you’d like. There will be highs and lows no doubt….