So Buddy and Dora had a love in today. She wanted to be friends. He was so gentle with her. She even licked his nose a few times. Super cute.

For a horse that can be handy with his teeth sometimes, he can be such a gentle soul as well. As I sat by his stable, he nuzzled my neck. Just love him.

Naked pony in September!! Buddy was loving the sun on his back. He loves his regular massage from Maddy at Norfolk Equine Sports Massage. He completely zoned out at one point. She’s been treating him for a year now and the improvement is amazing.

Just goes to show that horses benefit from regular massages as much as we do.

I was at a hotel in Norwich on a training course. I went to check my phone before heading to the bar with the other delegates to find a ton of voicemails, text messages and emails from people wanting to know I was safe and got out of London. Turned on the TV in my room, stared in disbelieve and cried. It was too incomprehensible for my brain to take it in. And yet I couldn’t stop watching.

I joined my fellow delegates in the bar. We sat in silence, crying and raising a glass to those who’d perished.

I was fortunate to have visited NYC several times before it happened and ate in the restaurant in the sky. I still have clothes I bought in the shopping mall that used to be underneath.

When I returned after 9/11, I went to the relatives memorial museum. Sitting on a bench looking at the faces of those who died I cried again. Such a waste of human lives. And for what?! Terror, war, destruction never fix anything. When will we learn that force is not the answer. Tolerance and understand is.

9/11. We will never forget.

Three exciting things happened today.

I won a prize in the SaddleUp4NHS raffle. I got to pick from a long list of experiences, goodies and lessons. I picked to have 2 lessons with Ernest Dillon. He trains people all over the World in showjumping and eventing. He’s a bit of a legend so we will definitely learn lots from the experience. If anyone’s had a lesson with him, let me know.

Then I had a meeting with a web design agency about providing website copy for their customers. That could be really good for my business.

Finally I got to take Buddy out for a hack. Just a short one before I ran out of energy, but boy did it feel good to be back in the saddle.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I’ve been very open about my brother’s suicide. And the long lasting effects on me and my family from his choice.

If you are struggling, message me. If you feel that there’s no hope, reach out to someone, anyone.

We are all unique. Only you are you. The World needs you. Hold on to that thought. Not the voice that tells you the World would be a better place without you.

I will never understand why my brother chose to take his own life. It’s not a choice I could ever make. Yes life is hard. Yes I have dark days. I feel that life is worth fighting for. So I keep putting one foot in front of the other until it gets better.

Not only did I make it to the yard, I lunged Buddy! Someone was a little enthusiastic (I’ll give you a clue, it wasn’t me). My energy levels aren’t still rather low. But it’s definitely progress.

Check out my Ying and Yang kittens. Just found them curled up in the border. So cute!

So today I ticked something off my todo list that’s been on there for a good few months now. I completed the NLP Practitioner course I’ve been doing and submitted the final test. Fingers crossed I pass it.

It made me think about things a bit differently. I first did NLP training over 10 years ago. But my life was so chaotic that I never took it any further. Redundancy and lockdown have given me the chance to do a few things I’ve wanted to but never had time for.

I’m seeing this time off as a gift now. And I’m grateful for it. I know I need to start earning some more money soon. It’ll come. For now I’m going to enjoy this gift. So this afternoon I sat in the garden with my boys and watched the clouds go by.

Dodo is auditioning from Brundall’s Next Top Model by the looks of him. I’m so lucky to have 4 very gorgeous boys in my life.

Started the antibiotics today. Fingers crossed they kick this into touch. I was looking for a picture of Alexander Fleming (the inventor of penicillin) and came across this one. Interesting USP there… This was in the days before substantiation I’m guessing.

I left the house!! Only to go to the yard to see Buddy (who promptly told me off). Lots of cuddles with him. I’m about a 5 on the Tigger scale, so I am improving. Just not fast enough for my liking. I will be calling the doctors in the morning for some antibiotics to try and knock this on the head.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I detest being ill. Such a waste of time and energy.