Admire the view

I met a friend for a coffee / catch up today. As it was such a lovely day, we headed to the Castle Gardens to sit on a wall and chew the fat (or paradise slice in my case).

The castle really is stunning. It always makes me smile. I really must go round the museum one day…

Overgrown

Today I laid siege to my back garden. I now look like I’ve been self-harming after battling some nettles and brambles.

The wet / warm weather has meant my borders have gotten slightly out of control. It’s looking slightly better now.

Full brown bin stopped play (or skirmish in my case). So I took Buddy out for a leg stretch.

I now need to plan my next attack on the front garden. I’ll leave that for another day…

And chill

Today I’m feeling yesterday’s clinic. There after definitely achey bits. Buddy got today off anyway.

So I watched Wimbledon and the England match. Amazing result for Emma Raducanu getting through to the second week. And England through to the semis.

It seems the kittens aren’t tennis or football fans.

Lucinda

For a very, very long time, I’ve had a dream to have a lesson with my eventing heroine, Lucinda Green. Today that dream came true!!!

It was utterly brilliant. I learnt so much. My god it was hard work! She doesn’t take any prisioners!!

After yesterday’s cool temperatures, today was roasting. Totally got my layering wrong. Buddy and I were both sweaty messes by the end of the 2 hours.

It was full on from start to finish. Some incredibly technical XC-style jumps in the gorgeous arena in Newmarket.

I may have overheated a little. Bit like my lorry on the way there. 🤦🏻‍♀️Grateful for a friendly lorry driver who came to our aid. Thank god for sign language as he didn’t speak English.

Still we got there and back in one piece.

Playtime

When I got to the yard, someone had set out some working equitation style obstacles. So I thought it would be fun to have a play.

It was brilliant fun. Buddy had to focus and listen to me as we twisted and turned our way around it all.

Processing

Today I’m better than I was. My brain isn’t working very well. I’m exhausted from the crying.

Nero was such a big part of my life for so many years. It’s going to take time to get used to him not being here.

I knew it was coming. Doesn’t make it easier though.

I did a great healing meditation earlier. Then took Buddy out for a hack. And had a blast up the gallops on Buddy.

That helped. Put a huge smile on my face.

Grief

I’ve been a dribble mess today. Lots of tears. They started when I woke up and Nero wasn’t there asking for breakfast. It felt very strange indeed.

I cancelled my appointments and had a long snuggle with the kittens. Then went for a long walk to clear my head. Got caught in the rain.

We all grieve in different ways, for different things. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. Today I was kind and rather than trying to push through, I tried to stay in the present.

There are some who may think ‘it’s just a cat’. But he was so much more than that. Nero was my confident, my company and my shadow. He has been a constant throughout the past challenging 2 years as well. He barely left my side when I was on box rest with my ankle. He was the one I talked to during lockdown.

He will be sorely missed.

It seems that Hugo has taken on Nero’s mantle as chief snuggler. He’s on my lap now.

I’m grateful that I have the kittens. And that I was able to be with Nero at the end.

Nero

The house feels odd without him. I keep thinking he’ll come trotting through the doorway. I’m all cried out. There can’t possibly be any tears left. And then they come again.

I’m grateful I gave him a great life. And he gave me so much love.

Nero

Nero (03/07/07 – 28/06/2021). Today I said goodbye to Nero. He’s been my shadow for 13 years. He’s been by my side through so many ups and downs in that time.

I’m heartbroken. But watching him struggle was equally heartbreaking.

I made the right decision for him. It was easy and tough all at the same time.

I’m sat here in floods having snuggles with the kittens. Another end of an era.

RIP my handsome boy. I gave you the best life I could.