Author: langlep

So 2020 was going to be my year. The year I got my life sorted after being served redundancy notice from my job in November 2019. The year I ticked off more things from my horsey bucket list. The year I got my mental health back under control and reduced stress in my life. I had a plan. And it was a good one. Then the plan changed dramatically on 2 January. I came off my horse at speed and broke my ankle. Badly. Like all good equestrians, I got back on and rode back to the yard, sorted Buddy out and then drove myself to A&E. That’s where this journey really began... I was sent home from A&E and told to crack on, only to receive a phone call later to say they’d missed a fracture (and a rather serious one at that). Whoops! So fracture clinic on 3 January, surgery on 5 January and home to recover. I started this blog as a way to chart my recover back to the saddle. As I cleared clinics and competitions out of my diary and wondered what the next few months would bring, it's been a safe space for me to say how I'm feeling. The new plan was to get a new job, to keep Buddy is kept ticking over and recover from my injury. Another good plan! I didn't expect a global pandemic, lockdown and all that happened in 2020. This blog has changed over time but it's continued to be my safe space to share the things going on in my life, with Buddy and the cats. Enjoy!

Blooming marvellous

It’s felt very Spring-like today. I was tempted to hang the laundry on the line, it was that nice. I started the day with a bit of Spring cleaning too. Always feels good.

Spotted this beauty in the border. Think it’s a hellibore, but not totally sure. Whatever it is, it’s a stunner.

Enjoy the ride

I’ve lost a bit of my riding mojo lately. It’s kinda understandable given the past few years and the number of plates I’m spinning. 2019 was the best year Buddy and I had together. We ticked so many things off my horsey bucket list and achieved so much together.

Sure I set my goals for 2022. But I felt downhearted and like we were going backwards. Things I’d normally look forward to or find easy suddenly seemed daunting.

Today I tackled it head on. First a dressage lesson with a new instructor at a new venue. Two things that could have concerned me in the past. But I felt confident, learnt a lot and really enjoyed my lesson. She was really insightful and explained so much of what’s going on with us. And gave me homework. We both got a good workout!

Then a coaching call with an equestrian coach to talk through my rider mindset. Another really insightful lady. She gave me some brilliant strategies and really helped sort my spaghetti brain. Oh and more homework.

We can struggle with any aspect of our lives. I’m grateful to have some amazing people in my tribe who I can reach out to. 😘

Happy buns

Yes I know it’s supposed to be pancake day today. But I’m culinarily challenged as we all know. So I bought hot cross buns instead.

I love carrot cake and I love hot cross buns. So these were right up my street. Happy to report they were yummy!

Rare

Today is Rare Disease Day. One of my clients are ADSHG. They support people with Addison’s disease and adrenal insufficiency. I’ve learnt so much about how it feels to live with rare or life-threatening diseases.

The body is an amazing thing. But boy can it throw some curve balls. Grateful mine is behaving.

Blue skies

What a difference a week makes (and a few good nights sleep). Last week we were confined to barracks due to the storms. Today it was beautiful sunshine.

Think Buddy was as happy as I was to be back out hacking. It’s amazing how the weather can affect your mood. And a lack of good quality sleep. Self-care comes in many guises. This is definitely part of mine.

Hail Buddy

I’m coming out of my malaise. Rover, my ‘black dog’, is heading back to the shadows once more. I’m processing more layers of my onion. Things I thought I’d resolved, clearly need more investigation. It’s exhausting so I’ve been really kind to myself today.

Thought I’d take Buddy out for a hack to clear my head. The weather had other ideas as we got trapped in his stable due to a hailstorm. So we headed to the indoor school instead.

Thank you so much for the messages, comments and love you’ve sent me. It helps more than you know to know I’m loved and supported.

Crumpled

Today hasn’t been my best day. I’m over-tired, over-emotional and quite frankly all over the place. Things from my past that I thought were resolved have reared their heads and slapped me round the face. So I’m taking the time I need to look at them again.

It’s OK. It happens. I’m OK. Well not completely, but I will be. I’m tired from spinning so many plates. I’m not complaining. It’s a good place to be. But it takes a toll sometimes. There’s a lot of responsibility on my little shoulders.

I feel rather crumpled at the moment. Life has been quite serious lately. I want to get the joy back. It’s hard when I feel like I’m being pulled in lots of directions.

So doing my best and trusting the process. Again.