Ride the rollercoaster.

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I took a sleeping tablets last night and got a good nights sleep. It really does make a difference. I’m exhausted, so trying to accept that I can’t do much about it but rest.

I’ve realised I’m trying to do too much and not letting myself heal. It’s really hard when you’re the kind of person who is always on the go, with boundless energy to suddenly feel the tank emptying when doing even the smallest of tasks. I don’t feel totally like me at the moment.

So trying to take a step back and just be today. I’m sat in the conservatory in the sunshine listening to the birds signing. 😊

My nurse Nero is with me too. He’s rarely left my side since my accident.

I’ve also realised that I’m not in the right headspace to make decisions about my future right now. I need to get over my injury. I need to grieve for the loss of a job I loved. Only then will I be able to put the right amount of energy into wherever my path goes next. That doesn’t mean I won’t be thinking about my future or looking for opportunities. I’ll just be trying not to worry or take attention away from healing.

I get the theory, but putting it into practice is a lot harder!! So today I’m focusing on being rather than doing.

Thank you for all your comments and kind words. I started this blog for me, as a way to express my thoughts and feelings and chart my recovery. It’s lovely to know people are reading it, enjoying it and encouraging me on this journey. 😘 I said there would be ups and downs, not sure I was prepared for the rollercoaster of emotions I’ve had so far. I’ve buckled up and am ready for the next batch…

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Published by langlep

So 2020 was going to be my year. The year I got my life sorted after being served redundancy notice from my job in November 2019. The year I ticked off more things from my horsey bucket list. The year I got my mental health back under control and reduced stress in my life. I had a plan. And it was a good one. Then the plan changed dramatically on 2 January. I came off my horse at speed and broke my ankle. Badly. Like all good equestrians, I got back on and rode back to the yard, sorted Buddy out and then drove myself to A&E. That’s where this journey really began... I was sent home from A&E and told to crack on, only to receive a phone call later to say they’d missed a fracture (and a rather serious one at that). Whoops! So fracture clinic on 3 January, surgery on 5 January and home to recover. I started this blog as a way to chart my recover back to the saddle. As I cleared clinics and competitions out of my diary and wondered what the next few months would bring, it's been a safe space for me to say how I'm feeling. The new plan was to get a new job, to keep Buddy is kept ticking over and recover from my injury. Another good plan! I didn't expect a global pandemic, lockdown and all that happened in 2020. This blog has changed over time but it's continued to be my safe space to share the things going on in my life, with Buddy and the cats. Enjoy!

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